2009.08.27 - Wedgied By Somebody
Song: Use Somebody
Artist: Kings of Leon
Album: Only By The Night
Release: 2009
From Jesus to Jonas…
There is no reason for this wedgie - Kings of Leon have been the biggest disappointment(s) of 2009. They fucking sold-out: cut hair (check), clean shaven (check), make shitty music (check). If ‘somebody’ was used, it’s their fans from albums past. This album is virtually unlistenable. ‘Notion’ might be the worst song on the radio and that includes anything by Modest Mouse.
Lyrics:
I’ve been roaming around always lookin down at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can’t reach. You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody Someone like you And all you know and how you speak Countless lovers undercover of the street You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody Someone like you Off in the night while you live it up I’m off to sleep Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat I hope it’s gonna make you notice I hope it’s gonna make you notice Someone like me Someone like me Someone like me Somebody (Go and let it out) Someone like you Somebody Someone like you Somebody Someone like you Somebody I’ve been roaming around always lookin down at all I see
2009.08.12 - Wedgied By A Doctor
Song: Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong
Artist: Spin Doctors
Album: Pocket Full of Kryptonite
Release: 1993
I have no freakin’ idea why I was singing this song in the shower. Maybe because Allmusic describes the song as ‘incessantly catchy’. This single reached number 17 on the Billboard 100 and is credited for the commercial success of Pocket Full of Kryptonite. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
Been a whole lot easier since the bitch left town Been a whole lot happier without her face around Nobody upstairs gonna stomp and shout, Nobody at the back door gonna throw my laundry out She hold the shotgun while you do-si-do She want one man made of hercules and cyrano Been a whole lot easier since the bitch is gone Little miss, little miss cant be wrong Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong Aint nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong Whatcha gonna do to get into another one of these rock n roll Songs? Other peoples thoughts they aint your hand-me-downs Would it be so bad to simply turn around You cook so well, all nice and french You do you brain surgery too, with a monkey wrench Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong… I hope those cigarettes gonna make you cough Hope you hear this song and it pissed you off I take that back I hope your doing fine And if I had a dollar I might give you ninety-nine Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong…
2009.07.29 - Wedgied By Mr. Brightside
Song: Mr. Brightside
Artist: The Killers
Album: Hot Fuss
Release: 2004
Mr. Brightside is the last song you want to hear when going through a break-up, but its so g/d good you can’t help but listen to it. Oh, the nights spent at the bar with Brown Boy lamenting over failed relationships.
Since going platinum, the Brandon Flowers has incited a few rivalries—most notably with The Bravery and Fall Out Boy, who are both labelmates (Island Records). Flowers has said that these bands, especially The Bravery, are riding on the coattails of the success of The Killers, to which Bravery frontman Sam Endicott replied calling Flowers ‘A Little Girl’ and a ‘Kid in a Wheelchair’. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
I’m coming out of my cage And I’ve been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down Because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss Now I’m falling asleep And she’s calling a cab While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag Now they’re going to bed And my stomach is sick And it’s all in my head But she’s touching his-chest Now, he takes off her dress Now, letting me go And I just can’t look its killing me And taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis But it’s just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes ‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside I’m coming out of my cage And I’ve been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down Because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss Now I’m falling asleep And she’s calling a cab While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag Now they’re going to bed And my stomach is sick And it’s all in my head But she’s touching his-chest Now, he takes off her dress Now, letting me go Cause I just can’t look its killing me And taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis But it’s just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes ‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside I never… I never… I never… I never…
2009.07.27 - Wedgied Brushing My Teeth
Song: Pale Bride
Artist: The Von Bondies
Album: Love Hate Then Theres You
Release: 2009
So far, the best album cover of 2009. Pale Bride is an infectious rock song but its not quite on par with ‘Been Swank’. You can hear Pale Bride on SiriusXM AltNation. On the evening of December 13, 2003, an altercation occurred between Stollsteimer and The White Stripes frontman Jack White during the record release party for the band Blanche at The Magic Stick (a Detroit music club.) Stollsteimer was treated for injuries at Detroit Receiving Hospital. Jack White pled guilty to an assault and battery charge, and was required to attend anger management classes and pay a fine. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
Here she comes My pale bride Makes it so that i don’t try anyomore All dressed in white Sad to see that i don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t She’s so kind And on my mind Fantasy that i can’t fake anymore A lullaby Makes me wanna spend more time with you Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t And she dies And she dies And she dies And she dies Fall all alone And on the pain Pay no mind that i don’t care anymore And on your way Take you time to read what’s on the wall Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t And she dies And she dies And she dies And she dies
2009.07.27 - Wedgied By A Joker And The Thief
Song: Joker And The Thief
Artist: Wolfmother
Album: Wolfmother
Release: 2006
This song’s intro transitions from the sounds of Boston to Queens of the Stone Age to Black Sabbath - a recipe for an Atomic Song Wedgie. Wolfmother blew my shoes at Lollapalooza few summers back and features a Fat drummer with a capital F. Their new album drops this Fall and hopefully it will be half as good as their self-titled disasterpiece.
Lyrics:
I said the joker is a wanted man, He makes his way all across the land, See him sifting through the sand, So I’ll tell you all the story, About the joker and the thief of the night, Always laughing in the midst of power, Always living in the final hour, There is always sweet in the sour, We are not goin’ home, Can you see the joker flying over, As she’s standing in the field of clover, Watching out everyday? I wonder what would happen if he took her away? What you see well you might not know, You get the feelin’ comin’ after the glow, The vagabond is moving slow, So I’ll tell you all the story, ‘bout the joker and the thief of the night, All the people that he see in the night, Hold their dreams up to the light, The old beast is searching for sight, We are not goin’ home, Can you see the joker flying over, As she’s standing in the field of clover, Watching out everyday? I wonder what would happen if he took her away? I said the joker is a wanted man, He makes his way all across the land, See him sifting through the sand, Tell you the story ‘bout the the joker and the thief, I said, I’ll tell you the story ‘bout the the joker and the thief, I said, I’ll tell you the story ‘bout the the joker and the thief, Of the night
2009.07.26 - Wedgied By The Pool
Song: Hopesick
Artist: Louis XIV
Album: Slick Dogs and Ponies
Release: 2009
I was working on my base and had the tune stuck in my head all day, but the only lyric running through my head was ‘a cigarette’. I couldn’t figure out what song it was. It finally dawned on me later in the day that it was Hopesick. I thought there was a line about a cigarette, but there isn’t.
Lyrics:
I need sleep I need love I need fun I need girls I need sun I need hope I need help I need dope I need her I need it I can’t run I can’t sit I got pain, I got pain, I got pain hope sick hope sick hope sick hope sick A heart flutter and I shutter A hand shake A heart break I love her she loves me but in my mind but only in my mind hope sick (If it was so hard to hope) hope sick (How come I can’t let you go?) hope sick hope sick I need wheels I need touch On my toes On my heels On my lips On my head On the street I need stuff I need a heart I need a break my skin aches what does it take I need me I need me It’s like Im hanging from a rope from a string from a needle from a thread in my head (hope hope hope hope) hope sick (if it was so hard to hope) (how come I can’t let you go?) hope sick hope sick If it was so hard to hope how come I can’t let you go? If it was so hard to hope how come I can’t let you go? (Small Instrumental) A heart flutter I shudder A hand shake A heart break hope sick hope sick hope sick hope sick Its like Im hanging (hope sick, hope sick) from a rope (hope sick, hope sick) from a string (hope sick hope sick hope sick)
