2009.10.15 - Wedgied By Beautiful Girls
Song: Beautiful Girls
Artist: Van Halen
Album: Van Halen II
Release: 1979
Ah yeah! It’s been so long since I’ve had a Song Wedgie, but this song has hit me a few days in a row. This song is in heavy rotation on SiriusXM’s Classic Rewind. Though it has cheesy lyrics, Beautiful Girls contains one of Diamond Dave’s best screams.
The song was originally titled Bring on the Girls when it was recorded for the 25-song Warner Brothers demo, but the title and lyrics were changed accordingly. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
She was seaside sittin, just a smokin and a drinkin on ringside, On top of the world, oh, yeah. She had her drink in her hand; she had her toes in the sand and whoa, What a beautiful girl, ah, yeah. What a sweet talkin honey with a little bit of money can Turn your head around. Creatures from the sea with the look to me like shed like to fool around. What a snappy little mammy. gonna keep her pappy happy And accompany me to the ends of the earth, ah, yeah. Here I am, aint no man of the world, no. All I need is a beautiful girl. Ah, yeah! beautiful girls. Well, I’m a bum in the sun and Im having fun. And I know you know I got no special plans. All the bills are paid. I got it made in the shade, And all I nee, nee, need is the woman. What a sweet talkin honey with a little bit of money can Turn your head around. Creatures from the sea with the looks to me like shed like to fool around. Here I am, ain’t no man of the world, no. All I need is a beautiful girl. Ah, yeah! beautiful girls. Now, I’m a seaside sittin, just a smokin and a drinkin; I’m ringside, on top of the world. I got a drink in my hand; I got my toes in the sand. All I need is a beautiful girl. Here I am, aint no man of the world, no. All I need is a beautiful girl. Ah, yeah! beautiful girls. Ah, yeah! beautiful girls.
2009.08.27 - Wedgied By Somebody
Song: Use Somebody
Artist: Kings of Leon
Album: Only By The Night
Release: 2009
From Jesus to Jonas…
There is no reason for this wedgie - Kings of Leon have been the biggest disappointment(s) of 2009. They fucking sold-out: cut hair (check), clean shaven (check), make shitty music (check). If ‘somebody’ was used, it’s their fans from albums past. This album is virtually unlistenable. ‘Notion’ might be the worst song on the radio and that includes anything by Modest Mouse.
Lyrics:
I’ve been roaming around always lookin down at all I see. Painted faces fill the places I can’t reach. You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody Someone like you And all you know and how you speak Countless lovers undercover of the street You know that I could use somebody You know that I could use somebody Someone like you Off in the night while you live it up I’m off to sleep Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat I hope it’s gonna make you notice I hope it’s gonna make you notice Someone like me Someone like me Someone like me Somebody (Go and let it out) Someone like you Somebody Someone like you Somebody Someone like you Somebody I’ve been roaming around always lookin down at all I see
2009.08.22 - Wedgied With Patience
Song: Patience
Artist: Guns N’ Roses
Album: G N’ R Lies
Release: 1989
This might be my favorite Guns N’ Fuckin’ Roses song that isn’t on Appetite for Destruction. Any song with whistling is an instant song wedgie - just ask David Ryba. The seed was planted when I heard it at the bar.
The song peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart. The video was one of many produced by the band. It was the last video in which Steven Adler (even though he did not play on the track) appeared. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
(1..2…1,2,3,4) Shed a tear ‘cause I’m missing you I’m still alright to smile Girl, I think about you every day now Was a time when I wasn’t sure But you set my mind at ease There is no doubt you’re in my heart now Said woman take it slow It’ll work itself out fine All we need is just a little patience Said sugar make it slow And we’ll come together fine All we need is just a little patience (inhale) Patience… Ooh, oh, yeah Sit here on the stairs ‘Cause I’d rather be alone If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait dear Sometimes, I get so tense But I can’t speed up the time But you know, love, there’s one more thing to consider Said woman take it slow Things will be just fine You and I’ll just use a little patience Said sugar take the time ‘Cause the lights are shining bright You and I’ve got what it takes to make it We won’t fake it, Oh never break it ‘Cause I can’t take it …little patience, mm yeah, ooh yeah, Need a little patience, yeah Just a little patience, yeah Some more pati… (ence, yeah) I’ve been walking these streets at night Just trying to get it right (Need some patience, yeah) It’s hard to see with so many around You know I don’t like being stuck in a crowd (Could use some patience, yeah) And the streets don’t change but maybe the name I ain’t got time for the game ‘Cause I need you (Patience, yeah) Yeah, yeah well I need you Oh, I need you (Take some patience) Whoa, I need you (Just a little patience is all we need) Ooh, this ti- me…
2009.08.12 - Wedgied By A Doctor
Song: Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong
Artist: Spin Doctors
Album: Pocket Full of Kryptonite
Release: 1993
I have no freakin’ idea why I was singing this song in the shower. Maybe because Allmusic describes the song as ‘incessantly catchy’. This single reached number 17 on the Billboard 100 and is credited for the commercial success of Pocket Full of Kryptonite. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
Been a whole lot easier since the bitch left town Been a whole lot happier without her face around Nobody upstairs gonna stomp and shout, Nobody at the back door gonna throw my laundry out She hold the shotgun while you do-si-do She want one man made of hercules and cyrano Been a whole lot easier since the bitch is gone Little miss, little miss cant be wrong Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong Aint nobody gonna bow no more when you sound your gong. Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong Whatcha gonna do to get into another one of these rock n roll Songs? Other peoples thoughts they aint your hand-me-downs Would it be so bad to simply turn around You cook so well, all nice and french You do you brain surgery too, with a monkey wrench Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong… I hope those cigarettes gonna make you cough Hope you hear this song and it pissed you off I take that back I hope your doing fine And if I had a dollar I might give you ninety-nine Little miss, little miss, little miss cant be wrong…
2009.08.05 - Wedgied By A Trick
Song: Surrender
Artist: Cheap Trick
Album: Heaven Tonight
Release: 1978
‘Surrender’ was the first Cheap Trick single to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart, peaking at number 62. It is a late 1970s teen anthem, describing the relations between the baby boomer narrator and his G.I. generation parents. The narrator describes how his parents are weirder and hipper than many children would believe. For example, the narrator describes how he discovers his parents ‘rolling on the couch’ and listening to his Kiss records late at night. It is ranked #465 on the Rolling Stone magazine’s list of ‘the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time’. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
Mother told me, yes, she told me I’d meet girls like you. She also told me, “Stay away, you’ll never know what you’ll catch.” Well just the other day I heard of a soldier’s falling off some Indonesian junk that’s going round. Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away, ay, aaaaaaaay. Father says, “Your mother’s right, she’s really up on things.” “Before we married, Mommy served in the WACS in the Philippines.” Now, I had heard the WACS recruited old maids for the war. But mommy isn’t one of those, I’ve known her all these years. Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away, ay, aaaaaaaay. Whatever happened to all this season’s losers of the year? Every time I got to thinking, where’d they disappear? When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch. Rolling numbers, rock and rollin, got my Kiss records out. Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away, ay, aaaaaaaay. Awaaaaaay. Awaaaaaay. Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright) Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright) Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright) Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Bun E’s alright, Tommy’s alright, Robin’s alright, Rick’s alright) Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Were all alright, Were all alright, Were all alright, Were all alright!!!) Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away. (Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright)
2009.07.29 - Wedgied By Good People
Song: I’ve Seen All Good People
Artist: Yes
Album: The Yes Album
Release: 1971
The first part of the song is likely based on the book ‘Through The Looking Glass’, the understood sequel to ‘Alice and Wonderland’ by Lewis Carroll. The second part, consists of many repetitions of the sentence ‘I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I’m on my way’ over a driving rock accompaniment, ending in a powerful vocal harmony and organ phrase which begins on a chord progression of E, D, C, G, then A. Each repetition of the verse is one whole step lower than the previous as the song fades out. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
a) Your move I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I’m on my way I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day so satisfied I’m on my way Take a straight and stronger course to the corner of your life Make the white queen run so fast she hasn’t got time to make you a wife ‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and it’s news is captured for the queen to use Move me on to any black square Use me anytime you want Just remember that the goal Is for us all to capture all we want, anywhere Don’t surround yourself with yourself Move on back two squares Send an instant karma to me Initial it with loving care Don’t surround yourself ‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and it’s news is captured for the queen to use Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda Don’t surround yourself with yourself Don’t surround yourself with yourself Move on back two squares Send an instant karma to me Send an instant Initial it with loving care karma to me Don’t surround yourself ‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and it’s news is captured for the queen to use Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (All we are saying) Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (Is give peace a chance) Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (All we are saying) Diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit diddit didda (Is givepeace a chance) ‘Cause it’s time, it’s time in time with your time and it’s news is captured… b) All good people I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day So satisfied I’m on my way I’ve seen all good people turn their heads each day So satisfied I’m on my way…
2009.07.29 - Wedgied By Mr. Brightside
Song: Mr. Brightside
Artist: The Killers
Album: Hot Fuss
Release: 2004
Mr. Brightside is the last song you want to hear when going through a break-up, but its so g/d good you can’t help but listen to it. Oh, the nights spent at the bar with Brown Boy lamenting over failed relationships.
Since going platinum, the Brandon Flowers has incited a few rivalries—most notably with The Bravery and Fall Out Boy, who are both labelmates (Island Records). Flowers has said that these bands, especially The Bravery, are riding on the coattails of the success of The Killers, to which Bravery frontman Sam Endicott replied calling Flowers ‘A Little Girl’ and a ‘Kid in a Wheelchair’. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
I’m coming out of my cage And I’ve been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down Because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss Now I’m falling asleep And she’s calling a cab While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag Now they’re going to bed And my stomach is sick And it’s all in my head But she’s touching his-chest Now, he takes off her dress Now, letting me go And I just can’t look its killing me And taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis But it’s just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes ‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside I’m coming out of my cage And I’ve been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down Because I want it all It started out with a kiss How did it end up like this It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss Now I’m falling asleep And she’s calling a cab While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag Now they’re going to bed And my stomach is sick And it’s all in my head But she’s touching his-chest Now, he takes off her dress Now, letting me go Cause I just can’t look its killing me And taking control Jealousy, turning saints into the sea Swimming through sick lullabies Choking on your alibis But it’s just the price I pay Destiny is calling me Open up my eager eyes ‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside I never… I never… I never… I never…
2009.07.27 - Wedgied Brushing My Teeth
Song: Pale Bride
Artist: The Von Bondies
Album: Love Hate Then Theres You
Release: 2009
So far, the best album cover of 2009. Pale Bride is an infectious rock song but its not quite on par with ‘Been Swank’. You can hear Pale Bride on SiriusXM AltNation. On the evening of December 13, 2003, an altercation occurred between Stollsteimer and The White Stripes frontman Jack White during the record release party for the band Blanche at The Magic Stick (a Detroit music club.) Stollsteimer was treated for injuries at Detroit Receiving Hospital. Jack White pled guilty to an assault and battery charge, and was required to attend anger management classes and pay a fine. [Wikipedia]
Lyrics:
Here she comes My pale bride Makes it so that i don’t try anyomore All dressed in white Sad to see that i don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t She’s so kind And on my mind Fantasy that i can’t fake anymore A lullaby Makes me wanna spend more time with you Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t And she dies And she dies And she dies And she dies Fall all alone And on the pain Pay no mind that i don’t care anymore And on your way Take you time to read what’s on the wall Don’t care anymore I don’t care anymore Don’t care anymore I don’t And she dies And she dies And she dies And she dies
